24 / NOVEMBER / 2021

Self-love, honestly, to me, used to be a giant fluff word… do these things to feel self-love, repeat your affirmations (blah, blah, blah) was literally all that was going on in my head. 

I told myself that I loved myself, but in reality, I never truly believed it. 

That reality was harsh to discover this year. I thought after overcoming my eating disorder, then I loved myself. Yet I still looked in the mirror and saw all the things that were still wrong with me (or found a bunch of new things, as we do). 

My self-love journey I can now see was and has always been a work in progress, and I continue to work on it to this day, but through this year having experienced coaching for extra support, reading plenty of personal development books, taken courses and supported clients… it has been beyond belief at what I have learnt about myself and the self-love work.


Let’s take any goal for instance, if you believe in yourself that you can do it, science shows you are far more likely to achieve it. However, if you don’t believe in yourself and constantly put yourself down, or doubt yourself, the likelihood of you achieving said goal gets lower and lower.

That makes sense right… but what does that have to do with self-love? 

Well, let’s take the goal of weight loss, you look in the mirror and tell yourself all the nasty things (you’re fat, you’re disgusting, how can anyone love you when you look like that, how could you let yourself get this way… the list goes on).

So from this place of negativity, you make the decision that you are going to lose some weight to feel better about yourself. So, you start exercising more regularly, eating better, but the mind is clever… 

It will see that your hard work isn’t instant, and you will keep feeling frustrated when the results don’t start taking shape in a week or so, AND your brain will start playing tricks on you.

You see, our subconscious mind is programmed to look for evidence of the things we believe and the stories we tell ourselves. So if your core belief or story is that you are fat and you need to lose weight, your brain will keep looking for how you are still fat and still need to lose weight (hence why eating disorders are largely to do with mental health). 

You are also taking action from a place of hatred, disgust or as a punishment, and again, the science shows this does not create long term change. We end up feeling defeated far sooner and give up a lot quicker and dive back into old habits, because you are essentially telling yourself you are not good enough the way you are so you must stick to ‘this diet’… and when you don’t, well I don’t have to tell you the rest of the story! 

So, what can you do about it? I’ve got some simple steps below that will help you get to a much happier place within yourself and begin to love yourself for YOU! The gorgeous human being that the Universe only created ONE of! 



Firstly, you need to be aware of your thoughts, how you talk to yourself, what stories you buy into on a regular basis about yourself. We repeat the same 80-90% of our thoughts on the daily, so take the time this week to bring attention to what they might be, I often get clients to write them down. 

Take note of how you react to your reflection or when someone gives you a compliment… Awareness is the first step to creating long-term change. 

Belief Work

Now that you have identified your thoughts, stories, how you receive compliments etc… It is time to work them at a subconscious level. This means, taking the time to go back into your past and reprogram these patterns that you picked up when you were younger. 

This is not a step I recommend doing on your own, I recommend getting a highly trained coach in this area (like myself) or if there is deeper trauma seeing a therapist. This truly is the work that will set you free… I am a living example of it!  


Once you have done the belief work and are feeling lighter from your thoughts and subconscious programming, you are going to want to get to a place of acceptance with your body, yourself, wherever you are at… this is where forgiveness comes in!

We so often judge ourselves so harshly, for all we have thought, been, done in the past and this can be one of the biggest things that holds you back from moving forward and being in a place of true acceptance for all that you are! 

Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself, for all the judgements, mistakes etc and truly mean it. You did the best you knew how to at the time, it is time to move forward now, from a place of love. 

High 5 Habit

The beautiful @melrobbins wrote an amazing book this year called The High 5 Habit (please do give it a read if you want to go deeper on this)… this is probably THE MOST SIMPLE thing you can do, and has an AMAZING impact on your psychology and love of self! 

It is really as simple as high-fiving yourself every morning in the mirror. You don’t have to say anything, do anything differently, this simple action is powerful at reshaping the way you look at yourself for good. Don’t believe me… try the High 5 Habit – 5 Day Challenge – IT WORKS!! 


Self-care is not a luxury, it is a NECESSITY!! I cannot tell you how many women tell me they don’t have time for self-care… honey, if you don’t make time, you are going to burnout and be useless to all those around you that are so used to you taking care of them! 

I say this all the time, but it is worth repeating! You cannot give from an empty cup, instead we must learn to give from the overflow! 

It doesn’t have to be a massage every week, or hours at the gym (although it might be), it gets to be whatever you want it to be, try taking just 5 minutes out of your day just for you… that is showing yourself that you are WORTH that time and love. It is transformative for your health on so many levels! 

Remember at the end of the day, all of these tips are here to support you, as am I! If you are really struggling with self-love, it truly might be time to invest in a coach or get extra support. My DM’s and inbox are always open! Feel free to reach out at any time <3 

Yours in Health,
Sheree xo 

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